Dumbest, Funniest and/or Scariest Thing You've Done

[Valet37]

We survived our first season as new boat owners...I wish I could say unscathed, but that would be a lie. I'm interested in the dumbest, funniest, and/or scariest thing(s) you've done. It could be fun to read, and I'm always up for learning from others.

I'll start:

The dumbest/funniest thing we did in our first season was manage to completely "dry dock" ourselves while camping below Hoover Dam. We knew the water fluctuated a bit throughout the day, but had no idea that it would drop by several feet during the night. We woke up completely dry, and it was to the vast amusement of everyone who passed that morning on the very busy stretch of water. Lots of people stopped to investigate, offer help, and laugh. A nice group of kayakers, about 30 of them, stopped and helped us lift/pull the boat off the beach a little before noon. Here's my wife giving it a valiant solo effort. My favorite part of this picture is the anchor that was under 2 feet of water when we fell asleep the night before. (We use a bow and stern anchors now too.)



We did plenty of scary things. Two trips to the ER, one when I sliced my foot open on the prop while floating behind the anchored boat. The other when when my son slipped while hiking up to the hot springs and gashed his head open. I'm not going to post pics of those, but both were bad. Good thing we always have a stocked first aid kit. The park service folks at the boat launch were a class act too, very helpful when we docked. The biggest thing I learned from these incidents is that I need to make sure my co-pilot (wife) is 100% familiar with everything, including backing up the trailer.

[lemans81]

On a boat.....I am not sure there are many stupid things, but I grew up going to the lake and watched others do stupid things so I pretty much avoided those....but maybe borderline risky things?

-There was a "family" ski boat at the lake that didn't run more than it did run, it was like a 1983 17ft Bayliner with Volvo 4 banger i/o in it, I remember the first year I went down solo with friends(was probably 17 years old), we spent 5 hours doing engine work on the boat to get it running....thought we checked everything. Well except the plug, so we threw it in the water and quickly beached it(so we could throw the jet ski's in) and then ate lunch. When we got down to the boat water was even with the deck, someone decided the best place for that plug was in the junk drawer in the kitchen of the cabin. To further the risky, we decided since it ran that we would take it to the far dam(keep in mind none of the gauges worked, the sump was only good for about 3 minutes before it would overheat), I would estimate that the boat could do 27-28 mph wide open...and that's how we went on the 4 hour trip down and 4 hours back. We didn't actually mention to anyone where we were going and at Bull Shoals.....you might be stuck a long time if you break down. To finish up the fun when we got back the outdrive wouldn't tilt up. We don't have a boat ramp, we have an old road that led to the river before they flooded bull shoals 60 years ago. We were using a 1940's Farmall Model M tractor and we backed that thing until the axle was nearly in the water, but I am telling you putting an i/o on a trailer knowing how shallow it was scared me to death. We drug the lower unit as we pulled it out(once we were on land we lifted it and tied it up).

Most of the stupid stuff was due to others, I have had people untie my jet skis from our anchors(we drive them into the mud/beach and leave them while we are there) so they could tie up, then I have to go find my jet skis in the deep weeds. We had an old non-running pontoon we used to anchor in the lake for swimming and one point we had the bayliner tied up to it(everyone came in on the jet skis) while we ate lunch. Our neighbors had an old tri-hull boat and they decided to go tubing and just cut donuts around the pontoon and boat(seriously were as close as 50ft and no further than 500ft from them), even with all the fenders it still took a chunk out of the bayliner that we had to fix. Was not sorry to see that neighbor move away.

[kenbob62]

not on a pontoon though,we put a 25 hp engine on our 10 ft jon boat that was only rated for 3 hp ! it was scary fast and the floor of the boat vibrated so bad at high speed and the rooster tail out the back was impressive,do not try this at home !

[greghvac]

Going under a train bridge. That was around 18' wide and the current was bad and pushed the boat in to the center support. My son who was 15 was driving. he panic and took boat out of gear so the boat started to drift under the center part that was only 4 feet off the water.If i did not take over we would have taken the hole top of the boat off.
It turned out ok as I got the boat out of harm way. then looked to see what damage only bent the top little. very scary how fast thing could happen. Did i say the boat was new had less then 10 hour on it.

[NonHyphenAmerican]

Watching Fireworks at the Veterans Show at El Dorado.

Enjoying the show with the anchor light on, everybody has fun.

Started back to the marina after the show and man was it dark.

Get a ways back toward the marina and a boat with flashing blue lights pulls me over.

The Wardens want to know why I don't have my Nav lights on.

They wanted to know if we'd been

I told them no and they did a full inspection, giving me a lecture on Nav Lights.

I pointed out that like a dummy, I simply hadn't thrown the three position light switch to the correct position and with the front nav lights on the outside of the fence, I was putting across the lake with only the anchor light on.

Fortunately, no ticket and I learned to double check the switch position and then verify the nav lights are on.

[OK Toon]

One of our dumbest moments was when we returned to our dock and I forgot to close the bimini top. The slips on our dock have overhead doors so there is a low cross piece over the entrance of each slip. I was so focused on putting a 8.5' wide boat in a 10' wide slip. Just as we came in slowly to the slip my wife looked up and noticed the bimini was about to hit the cross piece. I usually kill the engine as soon as the front of the boat enters the slip and we just use the posts on the dock to pull us in. By the time I could grab one of the posts on the dock to stop the boat, the bimini had barely came in contact with the cross piece and pushed the bimini back just a little -- but not enough to do any damage. So now we have a mental check list of things to verify before we pull up close to the dock (make sure bimini is closed and fenders are all on the outside of the playpen). Fortunately, that didn't turn into an expensive lesson if I had to replace the bimini.

[CapKaz]

I have done one thing In my 30 plus years of boating that wakes me up from time to time. We had anchored in a cove on our lake. It was a dead calm day so the boat was close to motionless. I had my daughters family on board. After we swam and enjoyed lunch we decided to head back to the launch. My five year old grand daughter wanted to ride the knee board so she jumped in and grabbed the rope, and off we went. Not to fast, doesn't take much speed to float 29 lbs soaking wet. My daughter then made a comment about a strange splash that took place a few feet in front of my grand girl. My heart jumped out of my chest when I realized I had not pulled the anchor in. I am sick that I made a mistake that could have hurt her or anyone else just having fun doing what we love.
We are all boating to relax, however the environment we play in requires our full attention to detail to ensure safety.

[zoom650]

I've got more mental check lists I run through, depending on which boat I'm operating and what I'm doing. I'm very careful now with my pontoon's anchor light. I found out how low the roof on my slip is. Didn't lower it and broke the mount. But, ...

Many years ago, statute of limitations expired, my worse "oops" was at my marina when I owned my center console. The gas fill hole was on top of the gunwale amidship. Next to it were rod holders, also open holes. Some gas burped back out, made a mess. After wiping up, the gas hose was inserted into the adjacent rod holder instead of the gas fill hole. Pumped maybe 3 or 4 gallons directly into the bilge before catching the screw up.

I killed all three batteries so nothing would spark and that left us stuck on the fuel dock. The dockhands lined the boat over to where the fork lift could catch it, lifted the boat out and took it to a wash rack, opened the bilge and drained raw gas and bilge into a couple 5 gallon buckets I heisted from the repair shop.

After we cleaned up the boat, I had raw gas to dispose of. I knew a deserted shopping center on the way home where businesses were closed and I used that parking lot to dump the gas to evaporate. Maybe not the best thing to do but I wasn't about to dump raw gas and bilge water into the bay.

Live and learn.

[Cowracer]

I never do anything dumb, as my every action is carefully thought-out, planned and intentional. Like the time in my old Bayliner that I was pulling a tube, and stepped on the fire extinguisher mounted to the drivers seat base which set it off. I meant to do that. I was worried that I was not visible enough in the crowded area, and I figured the powder from the extinguisher would be an effective smoke maker. Yeah. That's my story



Tim

[Bamaman]

Our lake place has been in the family 75 years, however it's nice to know I've never had any dumb boating incidents. LOL!

I did stick a gas filler down in my inboard outboard's filler neck once, and it knocked the hose clamp on the hose off. I filled the transom up with 21 gallons of gasoline. My father quietly told me not to touch the key as he noticed gasoline coming out of the bottom of the engine cover. 5 seconds later and we would have been crispy critters. Fortunately the dock had a pump and we were saved. Lesson: Always watch the fuel gauge when taking on fuel and pay attention to your nose.

To those who forget their drain plugs: Wrap a stick with a plastic bag and you're good to go. Keep moving and water will drain out of the hull. When you stop, make sure it's in shallow water. Sometimes you can pick up the stern, move it into deep water and get the boat going before the water engulfs the hull. We've spent a whole day on the water without drain plugs.

My scariest times were scuba diving--at night. Because I'm larger than most divers, I use air faster. Coming to the surface 10 miles off Cozumel at midnight with no human within 1/4 mile of me was memorable--since there were sharks in the area. And night diving 60 miles off the California coast on San Clemente Island was a treat--with sea lions swimming between our legs. it's scary out on the ocean at night in the dark.

I've owned pontoon boats 32 years, and have had such a pleasurable experience with my Yamaha motors. I cannot remember being stranded in all these years as pontoons are so durable and trouble free.

[crookedlaker]

I think my story fits all three categories however you may have to add Lucky to it
about 10 years ago i bought a 1975 Starcraft tri hull from a friend of mine. This was my very first boat, he delivered it to the lake and we had a ball all weekend, when i pulled it out of the water i noticed that he had a old clothsline on the winch instead of a strap. The next weekend i replaced the rope with a strap and off we went down to the lake to go for a ride, I should also mention that this boat was on a roller trailer. We drove down to the ramp, my wife got in and i started to back down the ramp, as I got near the water i tapped my brakes to slow down as I went down the ramp. I looked back and all i could see was my wife's eyes getting larger and hearing the winch unwind at the speed of sound. I must of forgot to latch the winch when i changed the strap. The boat rolled off the trailer into the water and gently stopped when the winch fully unwound the strap. My wife's eyes were as big as silver dollars and she had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel. Without missing a beat i got out of the truck walked to the front of the boat and unclipped the strap and said "what are you waiting for, start the boat and I'll park the truck". There were two guys next to the dock getting ready to go fishing and i heard one of then say " man, they really know how to launch a boat. I never saw anyone do that before" if only they knew, we still laugh about that to this day.

[Cowracer]

I think my story fits all three categories however you may have to add Lucky to it
about 10 years ago i bought a 1975 Starcraft tri hull from a friend of mine. This was my very first boat, he delivered it to the lake and we had a ball all weekend, when i pulled it out of the water i noticed that he had a old clothsline on the winch instead of a strap. The next weekend i replaced the rope with a strap and off we went down to the lake to go for a ride, I should also mention that this boat was on a roller trailer. We drove down to the ramp, my wife got in and i started to back down the ramp, as I got near the water i tapped my brakes to slow down as I went down the ramp. I looked back and all i could see was my wife's eyes getting larger and hearing the winch unwind at the speed of sound. I must of forgot to latch the winch when i changed the strap. The boat rolled off the trailer into the water and gently stopped when the winch fully unwound the strap. My wife's eyes were as big as silver dollars and she had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel. Without missing a beat i got out of the truck walked to the front of the boat and unclipped the strap and said "what are you waiting for, start the boat and I'll park the truck". There were two guys next to the dock getting ready to go fishing and i heard one of then say " man, they really know how to launch a boat. I never saw anyone do that before" if only they knew, we still laugh about that to this day.

That's hilarious! I have seen 4 boats dry launched, and each and every one was on a roller-bunk trailer. The public access ramp that I used to use before I got my lake lot was always crowded, and you would always see something funny. I swear there were guys there who only came for the boat-ramp show. Every single time we got ready to launch, I always said the same thing: "Let's look like we know what we are doing out there". I still say it to this day...

Tim

[pond tuuunes]

Going under a train bridge. That was around 18' wide and the current was bad and pushed the boat in to the center support. My son who was 15 was driving. he panic and took boat out of gear so the boat started to drift under the center part that was only 4 feet off the water.If i did not take over we would have taken the hole top of the boat off.
It turned out ok as I got the boat out of harm way. then looked to see what damage only bent the top little. very scary how fast thing could happen. Did i say the boat was new had less then 10 hour on it.

Rt 12 bridge from Pistakee to Fox? Yea, the current there when the water is high, will drift you right into the concrete center section. JT

[NonHyphenAmerican]

That's hilarious! I have seen 4 boats dry launched, and each and every one was on a roller-bunk trailer. The public access ramp that I used to use before I got my lake lot was always crowded, and you would always see something funny. I swear there were guys there who only came for the boat-ramp show. Every single time we got ready to launch, I always said the same thing: "Let's look like we know what we are doing out there". I still say it to this day...

Tim

I've had the insane urge to get a lawn chair and some cardboard numbers between 1 & 10 and "Judge" the Ramp Antics.

Pretty sure I'd get a lot of and maybe even a

But it'd be funnier than hell.

[Bryden24shp]

Scariest close call I've had was helping another boater to get his outboard started. He was beached in bow forward. I was behind his outboard tightening down the cowling after we got it fired up. He very unexpectedly (to me) put it in reverse and started gunning it to get off the beach. I got out of the way fast enough to just get a deep scratch in the belly from his prop. Everyone on the beach thought I was dead. Don't know how I did it, but I flew up his transom and smacked him in the head, within seconds. Coulda been gutted, but hearing that lower unit "Clunk" saved my life! This was 30 years ago! I saw him a few months back and he apologized to me again. He still feels bad. But I never felt bad about smackin him!
Side note... Boat ramp antics! I would love to sit back and judge that show on 4th of July weekend! Lets do it!